Welcome to my website

Sit down, stretch out and relax with your favourite tipple or whatever it is that gets you through the night. Here you will hopefully be amused, informed and educated. A bit like the BBC but without the licence fee…or programmes for that matter.


I am an intensely private person and frankly it took a bit of persuading for me to do this website at all. I abhor the cult of celebrity; I never give interviews, except through my longterm collaborator Malcolm and I firmly believe that communication should be via the written word. Words are my stock in trade and I’ve been jotting the odd one down for some 50 years. Actually that’s not strictly true and it makes me sound like a complete old bag. 50 years ago, at the age of five, I dictated my first story to my dear Mother who was good enough to jot it down for me. And a pretty good story it was too though I say it myself.

The Book

Eleven years ago, for no particular reason, I embarked on a campaign of letter writing. What made my letters different to those of Mr Henry Root for example was that many of mine contained poems directed at my targets. Poems, I hear you say, Oh dear. I’d like to mention at this point that I am no fan of poetry that’s hard to understand. If you read one of my poems and you don’t know what I’m on about then I’ve failed. The advantage of poetry though is that you can get straight to the point and say a lot very quickly.

Anyway, the upshot of my letter-writing is this book – ‘Denise Thatcher Invades Britain and a few other places for good measure.’ It should by right have been published many years ago and it bloody nearly was. It came within a whisker of our nation’s shelves and loos – but what do publishers know? I believe the content has weathered well, if not matured. It might just be my masterpiece but don’t take my word for it, look at some of the comments people have been kind enough to make.

Love, Denise.

Also by Denise

The I Hate the French Official Handbook*

The I Hate Europe Official Handbook*

France the Final Days*

Saving Graces and other poetic gems


*With Malcolm Scott

Photography Marcus Wilson-Smith